Of Ramen and Wooden Skates
by Nerva al'Thor
Summary: [COMPLETED] A series of drabbles narrated by the owner of Ichiraku Ramen House about a certain special person who worked for him before Uzumaki Naruto became the most regular customer.
1. The Determined Chuunin

_My first shot at making some drabbles. Enjoy._

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_The Determined Chuunin_

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The first Ichiraku Ramen House was not located where it stands today, though I must say I favored our last location to this one. Unlike today, in which Ayame-chan and I are constantly battling the problems presented by a tight street, our first location was close to one of Konoha's squares, and therefore very spacious. It was also a nice location where the greater part of Konoha's population noticed us. These days most of the time, Naruto was the only distraction around. Unless he manages to drag his friends, and I am always very thankful for that.

I was a struggling entrepreneur in those days. There was not much competition, so I had a head start on ramen. Oh, the merchandise was not as popular as takoyaki or sushi, but it still had its own fan base. I knew I loved ramen enough to turn away from the lure of the Ninja Academy, which coincidentally, was located just a few steps from our old house.

Managing the first Ichiraku was not hard, except when lunchtime hit the clock. I had no helpers then, and serving orders took a little more three to two minutes. People rarely complained, but I made a mental note that I should probably hire an extra pair of hands. It wouldn't take much time, no...and I had in mind that whoever would apply would need only come at lunch times.

I put up a homemade sign around a twenty-meter radius from the shop. I waited for two weeks if anyone would care, but no applicants came. Konoha's youth was far too busy aspiring to become Shinobi, and its adults were far too busy maintaining their Chuunin and Jounin ranks to pay attention to the small salary of 200 ryo offered from a starting ramen house.

My mind was already half-forgetting the posters I've put up when one night, at around closing time (approximate eight in the evening), a young girl came up to my door holding one of my posters in her hand. I stared at her. She was deathly pale, with sleek black hair I was sure not even my mother could have matched. Her eyes were inhuman golden, framed with purple tattoos, and her stare told me that she brooked no nonsense. It was not until she spoke that I realized him for what he was.

"Do you have a vacancy?" he asked quietly as he showed me the poster I wrote with my own hands.

He had the build of a genius. He stood erect, and his aura demanded respect at first sight. His voice was tempered with the onset of puberty and tinged with a faint hiss that reminds oneself of snakes. I gave him my warmest smile and said yes, that I did have a vacancy.

A relieved smile made its way onto his rather guarded young face, and he pulled himself on one of my high chairs before the counter. He tapped the poster lightly.

"So...I need only come at lunch times?" he asked.

I nodded. "That is mostly when I will need your hand the most. Can you wash dishes, do some deliveries on foot and quite possibly...cook?" I asked as I served him some tea. "Don't worry; deliveries and helping with the cooking won't come unless we get our hands _very_ full. That's rare."

He gave me one calculating look before taking a sip of tea. "I can cook." He said. "And I can deliver ramen thirty minutes faster than someone on a bike."

"That's good." I said. "Your name?" I inquired.

"Orochimaru."

I gave a start and looked at him again. He was busy sipping the tea I supplied him, all the while his golden eyes rested upon me. I put my pen down. "Aren't you...the Hokage's student?"

He nodded.

"The one who passed the Chuunin exams with the other students of the Hokage?"

"Yes." He said.

I smiled again. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but don't your missions as a ninja would provide you with more money than working for me?"

Orochimaru shrugged. "Contrary to popular belief, sir, missions rarely head a ninja's way. Most of the time we have no choice but to lounge around hoping for that opportunity to come. It's hard to budget things if you rely on one job only."

"I see." I wrote down his name. "So, 200 ryo is all right with you?"

"Monthly?"

"Yes, monthly."

There was a slight pause as he regarded the poster again.

"What if..." he hesitated for a moment. "Why not 300 ryo a month, but I work for you from 6 in the morning to 8 in the evening, every day except on mission day?" There was a slight pleading in his tone. I could almost see it in his eyes.

I raised an eyebrow. "You need money that much?"

He bowed briefly. "Well...the rent has hiked. I've no choice unless I want to sleep under a bridge."

I laughed. "All right, deal."

He took my extended hand and shook it awkwardly, as if he was not used to the whole ritual of it. "Could I start tomorrow?"

"Aren't you in a hurry? Of course. Six in the morning sharp. I don't like latecomers."

He smiled as he hopped off the high chair. Later I knew that I was one of the handful of people ever to see him smile.


	2. Irashai

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_Irashai_

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Orochimaru-kun was an enthusiastic employee as he could ever be. During the first two weeks of his employment, I often opened the shop to find him already outside, waiting. It didn't help that it was starting to snow. I asked him inside and told him he shouldn't arrive so early; he might get a bad bout of flu due to the cold. He only looked at me as if I were mad, but still continued on his routine anyway. And then I grew tired of scolding him and let him open the store for me, giving him the duplicate keys.

I often woke up with every pre-opening chore already done. Orochimaru-kun mopped the floors until they shone, wiped the tables free of dust and even changed the curtains at one time, maintaining that it was already dirty. I asked him if he had breakfast before going to me, and he said he did. But there were times he came to me with a rumbling stomach. I was far from being such a ruthless employer that I wouldn't even care whether he had eaten his morning fill or not. During those days I took him aside before officially opening and supplied him with the first ramen for that day. He didn't exactly say thank you, but the glimmer in his golden eyes were enough for me. And the way he smiled at me. I thought, where were his parents? His mother, especially. I asked him this, and I was surprised by the way he answered me.

"They're dead." He said bluntly. Too blunt for a thirteen-year-old like him. However I realized this was a taboo, so I never mentioned it again.

I noticed that Orochimaru-kun rarely smiled – nor spoke for that matter. I took him aside one day and gave him an apron – his golden eyes grew wide in horror as he saw that the apron was pink and I apologized for not having anything else – and told him that if we both wanted this business to flourish, he should be more cordial to the customers. I told him that there was nothing wrong if he could smile, and that his hair would very likely get in his way.

That was when he did start to smile and tie his hair into a ponytail every time he was in the shop.

"_Ichiraku Irashai!_"

This was the phrase Orochimaru-kun uttered with all the cheerfulness he could muster every time customers went through our wooden door. Shinobi customers were often gaping openly when they found him there, clutching a small piece of paper and pen in hand, ready to take their orders. Apparently they did not expect an esteemed student of Hokage such as Orochimaru to work in a ramen stand. Orochimaru ignored their stupefied looks and gaping jaws as if they never existed and waited for their order patiently, quietly.

"Hai, dozo...miso ramen and black tea for you!"

And the customers would still gape at him even though he had already left.

"Popular, aren't you, Orochimaru-kun?" I joked one day as he entered the inner kitchen to help me with the dishes.

He only glowered at the sponge he held as a response. I laughed. I grew to love and understand my only helper's silence because most of the time, it was the only way he actually _spoke_ to me. His little glances, smiles and glares contained a myriad of information that wasn't so hard to understand once you got the hang of it.

Having the Hokage's favorite student at my ramen stand soon had its advantages. More people eventually came, and we were very happy. I increased Orochimaru-kun's salary to 350 ryo. He didn't say thank you when I handed him the customary brown envelope, but the way he clutched his hard work's fruit was proof enough. He tucked it very carefully into his yukata and bowed deeply to me – so deep in fact that I glimpsed the back of his neck. I told him gently it was nothing and that he deserved it.

There were days he failed to turn up. I understood that. But usually he came round at lunch time, panting very hard. From training, I mused, I told him to rest before wearing his apron but he only gave me his no-nonsense look and went to work anyway. If there was a mission on the morrow he never failed to inform me.

However, Orochimaru-kun was too ruthless sometimes. In business you could never evade circumstances like customers ditching their bills...playful Genins trying to get away with a free bowl while your back's turned...those sorts of things. Orochimaru-kun was sharp. I remembered him chasing a Jounin who so dared to skip his bill...

"Hey you! Hey! Pay up!"

"Bug off, kid! I'm not paying for rubbish!"

Orochimaru-kun's golden eyes flashed, and I suddenly grew afraid that he might throw a kunai or something – but he _did_ throw the round tray he was holding. The tray spun around in midair before slamming with a satisfactory crunch at the back of the insolent Jounin's head, knocking him out instantly. Orochimaru-kun bent over the fallen Shinobi and took the payment from his wallet before going back to the stand.

I knew Orochimaru-kun was trying very hard to be cheerful. But there were times when his perpetual rudeness got the better of him.

"What? Is there a bug on my face?"

"If you're not going to buy anything, take your stupid fat ass off that chair for other customers."

"We're a _ramen_ stand. Not a takoyaki stand. You dumb or what?"

"I. Am. Not. A. Woman."

"Get lost, jerk. If you don't have any money to pay for your meal, I suggest leaving. And now."

"You have three seconds to let go of my butt before I kill you."

However, I did not have to be the referee in any of these countless circumstances. Orochimaru-kun (thankfully) knew very well how to keep his temper under wraps.

"_Ichiraku Irashai_!"

Ayame-chan is the one saying this phrase now, but I can never rid my memory of the second person ever to say it, with his tempered tone and slightly hissing accent.

"_Ichiraku Irashai_!"


	3. The Hokage's Granddaughter

_Thanks for the review, guys!_

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_The Hokage's Granddaughter_

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There was a time Orochimaru-kun asked if he could sleep in the restaurant instead. His landlady locked down the apartment he was staying too early in the evenings, and there were missions that ended only at an ungodly hour such as 1 AM. He tried explaining this to her, but she refused to see the point of it. At the back of my mind I guessed that Orochimaru-kun did not do any explanation whatsoever, but I shut my mouth. I've seen what my little employee could do, and it was not clean.

When I agreed, he cheerfully returned to his apartment for a moment and came back clutching a small bedroll that he deposited under the counter. He said he could sleep anywhere, may they be floors or tables or chairs – he wasn't choosy like Jiraiya, his teammate.

I often wondered what the Hokage's other students were like. Orochimaru-kun and I liked to talk about them when we were done for the day and sipping our tea before closing time. Orochimaru-kun said that Tsunade could possibly smash my face to a bloody pulp with only a single finger, and that Jiraiya was possibly the stupidest kid in the planet, with an eccentric leisure pursuit to peep at the ladies in the public bath he was currently employed in as a clean-up boy.

They were excellent young nins; Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade. News never fails to reach me here of their missions. Already and at such a young age they have accomplished one hundred and twelve, all successful. Their missions ranged from D-rank to A-rank, involving all sorts of danger and excitement. Sometimes, when he was feeling extremely nice, Orochimaru-kun would honor me of the details of their missions.

"So Jiraiya-kun managed to get rid of the Hunter nins?" I asked.

Orochimaru-kun nodded. "Yes. You know, sir, he's good but his stupidity overrules his actions. Sarutobi-sensei and I have put probably much effort to trying to change his priorities, but..." he shrugged. "He's as stubborn as a mule."

I laughed. "How do you see Jiraiya then?"

A pout curled on my employee's lips. "I'd be prepared to see him as an equal if only he'd be serious enough."

I didn't know if the Sannin Jiraiya ever knew that Orochimaru held him in such a high regard.

"What about the kunoichi..." I said.

A blush crept on Orochimaru-kun's cheek. "Tsunade." He said the name as if it were a prayer.

I grinned. "You told me she was a gambler?"

"Oh, unrelenting, sir. She is one of the main reasons why Jiraiya and I are working part-time. She _loves_ to borrow money and when the due date arrives, she vanishes like a bubble bursting in midair. In fact, sir, she owes me over 5,000 ryo and 3,000 ryo from Jiraiya."

What a weird girl, I thought. "Then why not try to get the money during a mission?"

Orochimaru-kun laughed. _Laughed_. "Oh sir, if it were possible, I would have done it a long time ago. But you see, Tsunade has a monstrous strength. I wouldn't want to suffer Jiraiya's fate of ending up in a coma for one week when he did try to get the money out of her during our sojourn in the Sand."

As if summoning her, the First's granddaughter appeared on our doorstep, hazel eyes examining our place as she went inside, hands shoved in her pockets. I managed to see that Orochimaru-kun's blush deepened for a moment before it vanished entirely as he schooled his face into blankness as he rose.

"_Ichiraku Irashai!_" he said.

Tsunade-hime gave a start and turned wide eyes toward Orochimaru-kun. "So it's true you're working here?" she said.

I walked to the counter and heard Orochimaru-kun sigh.

"What will you be wanting, Tsunade? Please, sit down."

The First's granddaughter sat down near one of the windows, steepling her fine fingers together and looking up at Orochimaru-kun curiously as if he had grown an extra head. I hummed a tune as I started up the stove in case the princess wanted a hot serving of ramen.

Orochimaru-kun stood over her, paper and pen in hand. "Well?"

"Hmm...let's see...barbecue and...the usual."

"In a moment."

Orochimaru-kun headed to me and gave me his friend's order. As I prepared the broth and the noodles, I watched the two out of the corner of my eye. Tsunade-hime had been very pretty ever since she was young. It was hard to believe she could smash my face into a bloody pulp if she wanted to. But I did not doubt Orochimaru-kun's words. It was fun watching them. Orochimaru-kun gestured lightly as he talked to her, and the way his golden eyes sparkled...I knew that he held her in a special regard other than friendship, the way he secretly held Jiraiya-kun as a younger brother.

"Order up!" I said.

Orochimaru-kun jumped up and went to fetch Tsunade-hime's food and serving it to her. Afterward we left her alone as we tackled the pots and pans in the kitchen. And then we heard her call.

"Orochimaru! Hey, Orochimaru!"

"Oh, not again..." my employee hissed as he hastily wiped his hands on his apron and going out to see to her needs.

Their following conversation is as the best I could remember it:

"Hey, come on...I need money."

"What?"

"Yeah, well...my mother won't give me my allowance next week in advance, so..."

"Do you have any idea how much you owe me, Tsunade?"

"...remind me?"

"You owe me 5,678 ryo!" Orochimaru-kun's voice sounded pained. "And you haven't given me a single centavo back! I will not lend you another coin unless you pay up!"

"I promise I'll pay you back once I win -!"

"You are always making promises, Tsunade. Why not try paying up instead?"

"But -!"

"Tsunade, I won't be able to survive on your promises. I can't buy food with promises, much less pay my rent!"

"You're so mean -!"

"No, Tsunade. You're the one who's mean. Do you have any idea how Jiraiya cried in on me the other day because he got kicked out of his apartment for not paying four month's rent?"

"_What_?"

"Yes. And he's living with me right now. You cause far too much trouble, Tsunade. For once in your life try being the Hokage's granddaughter that you are and keep your promises – not pile them up on one another!"

There was a cry and crunch – I knew our door needed repairing. Orochimaru-kun joined me by the sink a minute later, a steely frown on his face. He refused to talk, so I kept my questions to himself.

"Troublesome flat-chested bitch," Orochimaru-kun glowered at the bubbles on his arms.

But apart from that, I knew he liked her. Because one day I saw him washing the dishes while tears flowed from his eyes. I asked him what was wrong, and I was surprised by his answer.

"_She's already taken_."

I think that was the only time I saw Orochimaru-kun cry, and that I was the only living soul to know that he was capable of doing so.


	4. Wooden Skates

_Thanks for the support!_

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_Wooden Skates_

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"_Jiraiya was too happy when I told him he could live with me temporarily in my apartment. Too happy in fact, that I grew worried in spite of myself. You see, sir, he has this kind of smile that when it surfaces on his face, you can be sure that there would be some kind of catastrophe heading your way._

"_The first problem was where he could sleep. The room I was currently staying in was only enough for one occupant, and my place was crammed by my stuff and scrolls and books. I'm fond of scrolls and books, nothing more relaxing than reading up on new jutsus after a hard day of work and training. When Jiraiya arrived, I was shocked at the amount of stuff he had with him. He took _everything _he owned. We were going to be smooshed like sardines._

"_I tried to solve the problem by packing up the things that were ready to be packed – I had sudden bouts of laziness sometimes, myself. Jiraiya helped me put away my things – luckily he also brought along his own futon – and soon we could somehow fit inside my cramped space. He had no idea when he could find a new apartment with a lower rent. That was one of the harder things to find in Konoha these days, I'm sure you know._

"_My little apartment was way noisier now that Jiraiya was staying with me. He complained even with the tiniest things – from the brand of tissue paper I use to the little trinkets I hung by my curtain. I glowered at him and thwapped him smartly at the back of his head, reminding him that he had a roof above his empty head because of my own kindness. That was usually enough to quiet him down._

"_I told Jiraiya that he had to do his share of the housework. Since I woke up early, breakfast and dinner was mine. He'd have to clean the place and keep it that way until he left. I did this partly because I wanted to spite him – Jiraiya did not like cleaning. _

"_During our free time at night we regaled each other with stories that sooner or later would end in a minor fistfight. We never could go to sleep without making each other's nose bleed. Somehow I thought I needed to help him find a new house. I would DIE if he continued to live with me._

"_Jiraiya was not really useless, though. He was the one who suggested that I should use skates as I worked here. I told him I didn't know how to make skates, and at that moment he went out and bought some things and made a pair for me. These skates are the ones he made. I think they're nice too – they're light and easy to balance on. I sure hope Jiraiya is like that at all times._

"_But then there was this time when he came home with a black eye. I didn't need to ask because he worked as a clean-up boy in the public bath at the next street. And I even patched him up. The brat didn't even thank me. He's way too troublesome, really."_

Orochimaru-kun started a kind of fad for skates in Konoha during those days. For the next two years or so, wooden skates were popular not only in restaurants, but in the Ninja Academy as well.

"_I'm all right, sir._

"_No, really._ _I'm all right._

"..."

"_Well it was because...well..._

"_It went like this. I slept early after the mission. Yes, right...the day I didn't come here for the day. Jiraiya turned up not until much later, two in the morning, I think. I knew he opened the door, but I was so tired, I couldn't even open my eyes. The mission took a lot from me – I thought that if I managed to come here, that'd be a miracle. My Chakra was literally reduced to zero..._

"_...Jiraiya was not in the mission with me. He came home all giggling...and he smelled of sake. Goodness knows how he got hold of the wine._

"..."

"..."

"_...well, I understand because he was drunk, sir. _

"_But he kissed me._

"_I must have woken the whole compound because of the beating I gave him. His arm's in a sling."_


	5. Silky Black Hair

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****Of Ramen and Wooden Skates **

_Silky Black Hair_

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It was not long before Ichiraku Ramen extended delivery services to customers, as suggested by Orochimaru-kun one day when we had been finishing inventory before closing time. He also suggested that we serve other side dishes like takoyaki and some sushi. By now we had increased our capital to cover some additional perks for our customers, and I agreed at once.

Orochimaru-kun now his hands full. He did delivery errands apart from his original waiter duties, and he also made sushi whenever someone wanted them because I could not make sushi worth a damn. I've seen how his nimble fingers rolled up the rice and wrapped them in seaweed – the way the hands of an expert moved. I asked him where he learned to make sushi that fast and that good, and he said proudly that he learned on his own.

Aside from my ramen, his sushi was popular. Orochimaru-kun never removed his skates while in store premises because a delivery order might turn up at any moment. He even had a hilarious motto for himself: _If you don't get your ramen in thirty minutes, it's free!_ I daresay he has never broken this motto of his.

One fine day, just an hour after opening, Tsunade-hime graced our store once more with her presence, but this time, she brought the other legendary Chuunin Jiraiya with her. I bowed at them while Orochimaru-kun said his customary "Irashai!"

"Two of your best and biggest bowls, please!" Tsunade-hime told Orochimaru-kun. "And some of your sushi, too!"

I turned my back on them to cook as Orochimaru-kun joined me behind the counter to do the sushi for his teammates. Tsunade-hime was tapping her fingers patiently on the table while Jiraiya was busy looking around our humble place. As we prepared the food, they had a faintly interesting conversation:

"So he really does work in a ramen stand." Jiraiya said.

"I told you so." Tsunade-hime replied.

"And he also uses the skates I made for him."

"Apparently he's started a fashion."

"Hmm, this actually looks better than the bath house I'm currently employed in. I wonder if they have a vacancy?"

"You, _cook_? You can't cook worth a damn, Jiraiya, admit it."

"Hey! At least I can do a hotpot!"

"A hotpot and nothing else. You can't even cook rice! Duh?"

"Well, the bath's better because there are girls there, so..."

"Oh, _please_..."

There was a ding somewhere and Orochimaru-kun's voice sounded. "Sushi coming up!"

And he went away to serve the sushi to his friends. Tsunade-hime held him back.

"Wait, we have to talk."

"If it's about money, I still won't lend you anything."

"No, silly! Sarutobi-sensei has just given us a new mission. Incognito mission."

"And I think it'll be interesting too, heh." Jiraiya piped up.

There was the sound of a third chair being pulled up. "All right, fill me in."

"We're going to take a sealing scroll from an old whelp who leaves near the Hidden Cloud. But we're going to do this incognito. Well, two of us will serve as distraction while the other will get the scroll." Tsunade-hime explained.

Orochimaru-kun's voice sounded disgusted. "Why the sudden D-rank rubbish? Genins can handle this!"

"Well, we need money." Jiraiya pointed out.

It took Orochimaru-kun several moments to reply. "Fine. So who does the disguising part? The two of you?"

Tsunade-him gave a harsh laugh. "Both of us. Jiraiya will take the scroll."

"What? Why this stupid dolt?"

"Hey! I'm not stupid!"

"Do shut up, Jiraiya! Well? Why him?"

"Because we look like girls. Well, I _am_ a girl, and you are prettier than most girls anyway."

"_WHAT?_" Orochimaru-kun sounded aghast.

Tsunade-hime went on as if there were no interruptions. "The whelp who has the scroll is easily distracted by pretty girls, Orochimaru. Now, the plan is, we're going to disguise ourselves as amateur geishas."

"That explains her samisen." Jiraiya added.

"Yes. I can play the samisen well. And _you_ can dance better than most of the girls from the Academy. You will dance the Fan Dance while I play for you."

"What-? But I – I don't – I don't _dance_! What kind of madness is this –!"

"Don't be selfish, Orochimaru. It's been decided. You will do the dancing while I do the playing, and Jiraiya does the stealing – I mean, borrowing of the scroll."

"Hey! As far as I remembered, no one consulted me about the deciding thing -!"

"It's decided, we said." Jiraiya said.

"But -!"

"You better practice your dancing again, Orochimaru." said Tsunade-hime.

"Ramen up!" I said.

Orochimaru-kun did not look happy as he went to retrieve the dishes. As far as I was concerned, he looked ready to stab anything and anyone to death with a blunt kunai.

This mission of theirs took three days at most. When Orochimaru-kun reported back for duty, I was shocked to see that his beautiful black mane was cut short to his ears. He looked like someone had died. I asked him what went wrong. He said that the enemy found out about them anyway because of Jiraiya's stupidity, and a lightning jutsu burned his beautiful hair to crisp – so he had no choice but to cut it short.

The way he spoke of his hair...I suddenly imagined that the ninja who released the lightning jutsu did not die a beautiful death.


	6. Rain

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_Rain_

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The downpour had been on the rampage since midnight, and I cast a worried look at the closed door, wondering if Orochimaru-kun would make it today. I had just recently opened the store, but the storm made it clear that we won't have a lot of customers for that day. I wondered vaguely if I should just close down or something, when I heard the unmistakable clack of skates outside, and the door slid open, revealing my employee, who was currently shaking droplets out of his umbrella.

I smiled at him and he smiled back before flipping his soaked black hair over his shoulder. It had been a week since the Jounin exams, and as expected, Orochimaru-kun attained the rank. His teammates Jiraiya and Tsunade were still Chuunins, but he maintained that they would follow him too soon enough.

"I thought you wouldn't work today." I said as a greeting as I gave him the usual tea.

Orochimaru-kun spared me a scandalized look. "Outrageous!" he said.

I chuckled lightly and gave him a towel. Amazing how his hair could grow back to its original length in so short a span of time. "Here, dry yourself."

"Thank you."

There was a moment of quiet in which we enjoyed ourselves. Lightning flashed, thunder rolled and water spattered, but we were quite warm in our little workplace. Orochimaru-kun took grateful gulps of tea, his golden eyes looking thoughtful.

"Problems?" I asked as I wiped our bowls clean.

He set down his teacup slowly and averted his gaze. He said something.

"Pardon? I didn't catch that, sorry."

He reddened. "I...well...uh...how do you...how...how do you tell a girl...that...that you...l-like her?"

"Say it to her, of course!" I said. I pulled up a chair and sat down, as this was going to be a _long _conversation. "Although a few subtle hints here and there would be in order before you brook your feelings."

The thoughtful gleam in his eyes shifted to thirst. "What hints?"

It struck me that Konoha's pride, the Serpent summoner Orochimaru, knew so very little about the art of courtship and flirting when in fact he learned over eighty jutsus as an Academy student.

I cleared my throat. "I don't pretend to be Dr. Love, Orochimaru, quite the contrary..."

"Please tell me!" the pleading note in his voice was very hard to miss.

"Well...you might think this one is too traditional, but offering her help with chores is one nice way of letting her know how you feel."

Orochimaru-kun frowned. "I don't think that will work, she can lift a 300-pound box with no problem." And then he realized what he blurted out, so he gasped and clamped his hands over his mouth.

I laughed. "You really like Tsunade-hime, don't you?"

His fingers absent-mindedly traced a heart shape on the counter. "I don't _like_ her. I _love_ her..." he whispered. Then now he sounded desperate. "But...I don't know...I can't tell her...I get tongue twisted every time I want to try and...I don't think she...she likes me."

"Nonsense," I said, waving a hand. "Girls often have this knack of showing you the opposite of what they really feel. That is one of the reasons you court a girl in the first place."

"How do I court her?" Orochimaru-kun asked. "She isn't like an ordinary kunoichi...she behaves like a tomboy most of the time. Hyuuga Hikaru had declared he wanted to court her the other day and she hit him – he's still in ICU 5, I think." He sounded fearful. "I don't want to be on the receiving end of her punches!"

"You have an advantage over your rivals already, Orochimaru-kun. Tell me, how long have you been part of Team...?"

"Team 7. We're Team 7."

"Yes. How long have you three been Team 7?"

There was a slight pause. "Five years."

"And during those five years, I daresay you know Tsunade-hime more than outsiders could ever know her. Think about it. What flowers does she like best?"

"She likes roses. Red roses, but tulips if she could have them."

"What is her favorite food?"

"Tekka maki."

"Her favorite color?"

"Green and pink."

"What makes her happy?"

The sides of Orochimaru-kun's lips twitched. "Winning a jackpot, sake, her brother Nawaki and a good wrestling match."

"What makes her sad?"

"Reminding her of her grandfather and great-uncle's deaths."

"What makes her angry?"

"Call her a 'flat-chested bitch', grope her butt and peep on her while she takes a bath."

"What kinds of panties does she love to wear?"

"Tight-fitting ones made of lace – HEY!"

I laughed so hard that I choked and had to hit my chest several times. Orochimaru-kun glowered at me from his high chair, his cheeks very red.

"See what I mean? You already know a lot about her. I say use these knowledge as tools to make your courting of her easy."

"How?" Orochimaru-kun looked very lost.

"Don't give her a new panty – save that for later when you are more intimate with each other." I winked at him. "Giving her underwear at such an early stage will ruin your chances (and very likely land you in a wooden box six feet underground). Why not take her out for sake or something? Have a good drink, laugh and then wrestle with each other? Or if you have some spare cash, offer to take her to her favorite gambling house. If you could cheat to make her win, then do so."

Orochimaru-kun absorbed everything like a sponge.

"Treat her to her favorite place (of course if you have money; it's extremely distasteful if you let the girl pay for your meal)...and a bouquet of her favorite flowers will always be a good addition. But most of all _just be yourself_."

He nodded determinedly and was just about to speak when the door opened and a couple of kunoichi arrived with colorful umbrellas. Orochimaru-kun gave an annoyed sigh before rising to take their orders. I watched them carefully out of the corner of my eyes.

The way the kunoichi giggled and eyed him as he took their orders said a great deal about his reputation with them. But inwardly I made a mental note to the pretty girls. Orochimaru-kun already had someone that he liked. I smiled at him knowingly when he returned to me with the customer's orders, and he stuck out his tongue in distaste.

At closing time later that day, he told me he already had a brilliant plan in mind on how to execute his first step in letting Tsunade-hime how he felt.

However, he never had the chance to fulfill his plans because the Great Ninja Wars had begun.


	7. Bittersweet Farewell

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**Of Ramen and Wooden Skates**

_Bittersweet Farewell_

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The Ninja Wars had taken much. I watched my ramen house burn, unable to do anything. All that I had managed to save was the little box where I kept our profit, a wok, five food bowls and a pair of chopsticks. Orochimaru-kun came, clad in his Jounin vest and forehead protector, shouting for help as he dumped water over the fire, trying to stop it. I had never managed to thank him for this effort, but it was a lost cause.

Orochimaru-kun helped me build the new Ichiraku Ramen House. It was smaller than the first, but it was good to be starting anew. Within a week I was back in the business, but Orochimaru-kun rarely dropped in to work, and whenever I saw him he was either unconscious or bleeding heavily from a nasty wound on some random part of his body. The worse had got to be the axe lodged into his back. I wonder if he ever managed to get rid of that scar...

During the times the Ninja Wars had dropped into a kind of stalemate, Orochimaru-kun was back in the restaurant with me. A war really could change someone in so short a time, as what Orochimaru-kun has shown me. He rarely talked to me anymore, and he rarely smiled too. It was as if the young Chuunin who had approached me all those years ago had died and had turned into this zombie of a young man.

I was surprised when he handed me his resignation letter. I knew it was not in me to ask, seeing as I never really knew anything about the world of a Shinobi. I was alone again for some time. Until the news that Orochimaru-kun did not become Yondaime Hokage.

It was the last time I ever saw him. It was midnight, and he was clad in his Jounin vest, with a little satchel with him. He ordered a bowl of ramen and thanked me for everything that we had shared. I didn't have any idea at first where he was going. But before he turned his back on me for the last time...

...he gave me a scroll. Told me to keep it safe for him.

I still have this scroll, though I've never opened it. It's a marvelous piece of art. Just like its owner. Beautiful and subtle.


End file.
